1) Kyle will graduate as early as June or as late as September, but we’re not sure where he’ll be doing his postdoc or when he’ll start.
2) I’ll need a roommate for after Kyle moves out.
3) If Kyle has a significant period of non-employment in between graduating and starting his postdoc, my pay isn’t quite enough to cover our expenses and basic percentage-based budgeting.
Since roommates are easiest to find in May/June and August, if Kyle starts is job at a time off from those, we might have a bit of overlap between when my roommate moves in and Kyle moves out. If there is a period of non-employment as well for a few months, having a roommate take over a piece of the rent would really help our budget out (to the tune of $350/month or so). So my exercise on splitting rent wasn’t just for splitting between myself and a roommate, but between Kyle and me together and a roommate. I want to be fair to the woman moving in and give her a break on the rent (about $100 on rent plus 1/3 of utilities) while Kyle is living there even though he and I would be sharing a bedroom.
I’m not really sure about the whole having-a-roommate thing again, especially while Kyle is still living here. Obviously with a roommate I will have to be neater, more timely with cleaning up my dishes, actually keep a regular cleaning schedule, and not spend so much time dominating the living room. It’s not a big deal to transition to that lifestyle a bit earlier – it would be good for us! But as for while Kyle is still living here, we would have to stop treating the entire house as our, erm, private space. And I rather like having the house all to ourselves. Also the galley kitchen is super small even for two people, so we would have to be very careful not to cook at the same time as our roommate. Obviously it all comes down to money vs. privacy!
The other thing that is a bit sticky is that people in our church really seems to discourage opposite-sex roommates, even if they are just friends. I guess it’s a putting yourself in the way of temptation sort of thing. I lived with a couple guys and another girl in a 4-bedroom house before I moved to Durham and none of us got involved with each other. I would say that I even grew less close to the guys when we lived together because of little annoyances and communication problems testing our acquaintanceship. Plus, I was dating Kyle and the guys started dating other girls while we lived there. Anyway, I have no trust issues with Kyle and I really don’t think that having a roommate of an attracting sex would test our marriage, but on the other hand I don’t think we should just disregard the wisdom of our brothers and sisters out of hand. The advice definitely applies to single opposite-sex roommates, but I’m not sure if it extends to married people with a roommate. So that’s something to consider as well.
We probably won’t need to make a decision about this until after Kyle secures his job. By that time we will know how many months, if any, he’ll be taking off before starting his postdoc how much his interview travel has impacted our savings. If we want to go on a vacation to celebrate Kyle’s defense, that is even more reason to get a roommate to help with aggressively saving for it. Probably 1-2 months over the summer of non-employment would be manageable, but I think I should have a roommate lined up by August and we would probably like rent help if we have one income for more than a couple months.
Have you ever lived with a roommate while you were married or your roommate was married? What were the sacrifices and were they worth the extra money? What do you think about people of the opposite sex living together (platonically)?
photo from Free Digital Photos